Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones.

JONES, West Hollywood

Saturday, 10:00pm-2:00am

We drove to Jones and were happy to find that street parking was available on Formosa. Not to brag or anything, but we got right in, no waiting necessary (there was no line) and the door man showed no signs of the commonly encountered power trip/god complex.

Upon entering the first room immediately to the left, we realized why there was no line outside ... there was no one here.

Moving into the main room we discovered a massive concentration of people squeezed in to the bar area. Being the sheep that we are, we joined the herd and fought our way to the drinking trough.

Here, Lane attempted to order her usual Blue Moon, however, due to the limited beer selection she was forced to choose from a more common list the likes of Amstel, Stella, and Guiness (nothing on tap) while Penny received one of the weakest gin and tonics ever to be served in the history of Tanqueray ... or tonic. But never fear, for her second drink (poured by the male bartender) more then made up for it.

Now the big decision of the night ... return to the bizarrely desolate room that seemed to be reserved for the antisocial, non-followers or stick to the main watering hole where drinks are easily accessible? I think we've established that we pretty much follow the booze. Now where to sit? Hmmm... wait it out for a bar stool or sit in the more communal and currently available banquette? Banquette it is!

We quickly realized why the stool was such a popular choice. While on the bench, one is certainly more apt to converse with her neighbors, however, due to the low seating, bench residents must also enjoy the close ass to face proximity from the less fortunate standing patrons. (Less fortunate is debatable, though one is almost sure to chat it up with the complete stranger seated at her side.)

Which brings us to the highlight of the evening... the men. The scene around the bar is a blend of indie hipsters and LA newcomers. We personally guarantee, that you will find at least one fedora or newsboy cap in the mix. We're not sure if a mass memo was sent out to the greater WeHo area, but these boys didn't miss it. We would also like to point out that our banquette position allowed for the perfect angle to view the skinny jean phenomena that seems to be raging within the male population these days, going hand-in-hand with an excessive use of hair product (to put it lightly). The ages ranged from mid-twenties to thirties though I'm not sure that we can say the same for their maturity level.

Helpful tip: If you are ever at a loss for a good topic to strike up a conversation, be sure to hit up the restroom where the walls are spattered with interesting pictures of half-naked men and women who seem to very much be enjoying their drunken follies.

We exited the ladies' room only to have a little rendezvous with the boys next door as they vacated their own bathroom and inquired about the lovely "artwork" within. They were somewhat over-excited to discover that we in fact did have similar wallpaper, proudly displaying boobs and booties.

On our return from the bathroom, we passed several dining tables. (Did we mention that is this is actually a restaurant?) While the food smelled amazing and the pizza fresh, the high probability of an elbow to the face deterred us from taking a booth, not to mention the constant fear of being sat on by one of the many hovering patrons.

By our rantings, one might suspect that we did not like Jones, however, we did stay a total of four hours. This bar offers a good social scene that is not too cliquey or over pretentious. Jeans and a nice shirt are acceptable, but all-in-all, mellow attire works just as well a suit or fancy dress. Most people are open to conversation and you are very rarely left sitting alone and thinking, "Why am I here?" (That is unless you're located in the oddly barren room by the entrance.)

Confession: Since this visit we have frequented Jones a number of occasions. During our last outing, we stumbled across a third room. This room contains a second bar and like the first room, it too is sparsely populated. The staff tried to persuade us to utilize the space, however, we found it to be too awkward with so few occupants and retreated to the main area ... What can we say, we like a packed house.

On our way to the exit, Penny almost knocked herself unconscious when she tired to exit through the "door" located directly ahead. Please note that this is a wall and that the real door is accessible to your left. This knowledge should save you from public embarrassment as well as being mocked by both your friends and the door man.

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Location: 18/20

There is valet, however, we have no idea how much it costs because we've always been able to find street parking. The bar is in a safe area, easily located, and not overly congested.

Atmosphere: 15/20

The bar allows for easy conversation, the people are very friendly, and relatively non-bitchy. The mix of men leaves some to be desired and the main room is usually quite crowded, however, the space isn't too dark or too loud (completely different from the club scene).

Service: 14/20

It can be difficult to get a drink and the pour (alcohol level of the drinks) is inconsistent. We have yet to eat at the restaurant, however, you have to give it to the waiters for successfully sifting through the masses.

Drinks: 15/20

The beer selection is very basic and nothing is offered on tap, however, they do have a wide variety of hard alcohols and mixed drinks.

Price: 15/20

Drinks are fairly reasonable by LA standards. $6.00 for most beers and mixed drinks range from $8.00-$10.00. This may seem steep for all you LA newbies, but considering that this is by no means a dive-bar, we consider it to be quite acceptable. Did we mention ... no cover!

Celebrity Sighting: +2

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel

Random: -1

No website available

Total: 78%

Penny Lane