Welcome to Hollywood. What's your dream?

FADE IN
EXT. ROOFTOP CLUB

Two twenty-something WOMEN are walking through a crowded bar area when one is slyly poked by a LONE MALE dawning chin-length, shaggy hair and a velvet blazer, complete with a decorative silken scarf. Confused by the awkward gesture, she assumes that she's bumped him.

WOMAN I
Excuse me.

(Poke.)

LONE MALE
Come here often?

WOMAN I
I'm sorry, but did you just poke me?

LONE MALE
You two don't look like you're from LA.

WOMAN I
Really?

LONE MALE
It's a good thing.

WOMAN II
Why is that?

LONE MALE
You girls have a pretty chill vibe, not all jaded and sexed up.

(Two women smile and nod while looking for the opportunity to escape.)

LONE MALE
Not much for conversation are you?

WOMAN II
Well, you've given us so much to work with. Poke.

(Enter FRIEND of the LONE MALE.)

FRIEND
Hi.

WOMAN I
Hi.

(FRIEND points to WOMAN II.)

FRIEND
You look like my ex-girlfriend.

WOMAN II
Do I?

FRIEND
Ya, except she was a model.

WOMAN I
We have to get back to our friends.

LONE MALE
That's cool. I get it. I understand girl code.

(Throughout the course of the night, the LONE MALE continues to seek out and poke WOMAN I & II a total of five times.)

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Note: The story that you have just read is not a work of fiction. This actually happened ... to us ... and we're sure that most of you have had a very similar encounter.

We go out every weekend as well as many week nights and though it may seem like we're just a couple of lushes who are badly in need of a night in, we are merely two single girls looking for a good time ... in the non-prostitute sense!

We have often discussed the time wasted at mediocre bars with a pathetic drink list and even worse male selection. We realize that there is a serious lack of information as to where a girl can go to find a good drink followed up by a guy who suits your style (and preferably, can carry on a conversation without resorting to a recycled pick-up line dating back to the 1970s ... unless you're into that sort of thing).

We have decided to offer up our services as pseudo-test dummies in order to fill this informational void.

To save the men and ourselves from public humiliation, all names have been changed, but all stories and relevant facts remain very very real. Please read and enjoy.

Penny & Lane